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Saturday, December 26, 2015

stranger smiley

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                                                                           Time -17:00

It was Saturday's evening, I entered in to the same alley in which I go every day, to enjoy tea. I had two cups of tea, one in each of my hand and a small, white stick of tobacco was stuck in fingers of my right hand with a little fire and smoke on its end.

From god knows where a girl, young and charming, in age similar to me, came to me, with a smile on her face.
And said "Hi"….. ,

Her words lasted for a long time in the chilled air and echoed. I must say it was musical. It made me smile and say "Hi"…. I couldn't shake hands cause my hands had already something to hold.

I watch you almost every day with tea in your both hands, in this alley. So from last few days i had this urge, commanding me to talk to you.  So here I am.
She smiled again.

(I looked at the sky , in desire of communicating with the devine. "Don't play with me god..I am telling you"… I mumbled)

Coming back to her,
It's ok, would you like to enjoy some tea?? I had an extra cup, almost full, of tea.
Yea sure, she almost snatched the cup with watchable speed, and spilled a bit on her fingers. I took out a tissue paper from my pocket and the way I pulled the tissue paper out, made her laugh madly. And she spilled more tea. I told her that I have only one tissue paper.

She apologised for spilling tea a little over me and thanked me for the tissue. Till that moment I was sure that she is a girl with manners and morals, sometimes a few actions and reactions are enough to judge someone.

I was peculiarly calm, analysing her,
Just a month ago, I was wandering to find a new room for my self, then I met a hot stranger girl who was in desperate need of a room and a roommate, cause cost of a well furnished room was too much to afford for a single person who just lost her job , she asked me to share room with her. Thinking of what happened in next four weeks still stirs my soul.

I was sure that this one will not be as bad as the last one. Although I am a full chatter box but i wanted her to start first and she had no problems with it.

"I watch you every day with cup of tea in both the of your hands, and you talk to your self too…." , again her "too" was musical followed by a sweet pout. I wasn't sure should i feel embarrassed about it. I looked at her and with polite smile I started, "I enjoy tea, and yes I like talking to my self a lot. It's a kind of fun activity. I find it entertaining.

Didn't you find that awkward??? I shot a question. I mean most of the people try to keep distance from such people.

It is awkward, but I have never found it bad, I had a teacher in ma college who use talk to himself like no else is around. He is a very nice teacher though.
I almost shouted , "even in my university there are two teachers of such kind, everyone use to ogle them like they are aliens. And one interesting thing,
One of those two, named Bhattacharya use to stare at me sometimes when I was busy talking to my self, during our evening walks. She just burst into laughter, patted on my shoulder as she wasn't able to control her charismatic laugh, in that moment we laughed together.

I felt something in her laugh, some instincts of agony, a past…bad one. A lot of times when she laughed recklessly, I felt like she is trying to fix something in herself.

Well!!! It was to soon to judge.
Where are you from ?? She just asked with a high rate of speech. "Ballia district" I told her.
She wasn't sure where it is. I gave her few references from history, few freedom fighters like Tatya tope and Mangal pandey and Rishi-muni's. Which didn't make any difference to her knowledge.
She is from Punjab, She told me.

"You look lonely, I have never seen you walking with someone."
I smiled again on her questions, but she didn't.
What kind of answer you're expecting here??
You can be honest if you like, she said with funny gesture.

Her style and her words were genuinely tempting, it was hard to resist. I felt like even if I will not want to answer her, there is an impalpable entity that will rip the answer out from chest and gift it to her.

I thought about her question seriously and told her i'm running out of tea, would you like to join me on the way to the tea vendor so that we can refill our cups and enjoy the walk.
She agreed with a dull smile, to add humor I said every thing is sounds better with a little tea in your belly.

The alley is "three cups of tea long"  I told her and I was sure it will make her laugh again.

She was a better listener than I have thought,
"Your tea in belly dialogue" , I have heard it somewhere", she scratched her head poetically, tucked her hair behind her ear.

The warmth and beauty of tea's taste was enhanced by her musical voice and poetic actions.

I asked her a question instead of answering her's, have you read The song of ice and fire novel series??

She said, "aam…no" and smiled again.
Then you must have watched Game of thrones  series.
"Yes, it's one of favorite series, and yes it is tyrian's dialogue, he just used wine instead of tea. She had an excitement on face like she just resolved a murder mystery.

Who is your favorite Character from the serial??
I asked to keep conversation going, finally it was going in an interesting direction, where we had a lot to talk about.

That Queen Daenerys and Tyrian lanister, Yours??
After thinking a bit I told her that I like them all, Yegritti the wildling girl, Lady Briane of Tarth,little finger, the eunuch they all teach you something if you read about them in novels.

We discussed game of thrones for almost an hour. There was a moment when she asked me about a novel that made me cry. I politely told her, there are three novels I have read and cried, last one was "Frankenstein" by Mark Shally. It is about a creature with bad face and his loneliness and his creator.

There was moment of silence, she looked at me I was obviously looking directly in to her eyes , we were two souls, free from the effect of winter, And I think that's what two people should be just souls and brain when they are in a conversation, no affection should linger, life looks much more beautiful that way.

"You ignored that question about the you roaming alone"…I thought she will forget this. I found out that she is smart.

The answer was clear, because I like to be alone. I spend hours standing in front of a mirror talking to imaginary Characters, a lot of times when life gets out of control, I find it unbearable, I replace it with pleasant fiction, which helps me getting a good sleep, keeps me sane.

I think some people are better all alone. Lonelyness is my faithfull partner and tea is my mistress.

It was dark, evening grew in to the night and she was staring at my face, shocked by my answer, it wasn't just me, she too was looking into me, in search misery. That was the time when I realised its to awkward a thing to say to a person with normal life.

I laughed recklessly, do I sound weird now??.
NAH...She said. Now it was my turn to ask, a question, which was excited to see the winter.When i see you laughing I sense crumbs of agony. You can share it too, if it's ok.

Are you sure??  Because I am a happy person, people call me smiley, cause they find smile on my face all the time, she shot a question back.

I told her I may fail to understand extent of someone's happiness, but I've never failed to see the agony. That's my thing.

Her face was a grave for a moment,
It's ok to share such things with the one who can sense it in you. I tried to push her from the precipice.

Let's just say we all eat crumbs of agony as our daily bread, no one can run away from it. They are way to many, personal professional, past and future. We will discuss every thing in detail, when the time will be right.

For an hour we had highly serious discussions about her life, my life, goals. Then we had tea again, she is a tea lover too and likes poetry.

I told her, whenever I see someone like you I see a poetry, with a smile.

Is it your usual way to flirt or its specially for me, she laughed loudly with these words.

Finally i told her that actions and gestures resembles to a very good friend of mine.

Again old line for flirting, she replied.

I am not trying to flirt you, trust me, I tried to convince her,  if I have to flirt you, I'd say
" I see a hope of summer raining from your hair when you suddenly tuck them around your ear,  she had almost fallen down, laughing madly,
Still I continued my lines, your eyes, your style had casted a spell on me, Now I don't even remember who I was, all I know is you. I passed a smile.

"Hahahahaahhaah……." Ab bas bhi ker smiley…kitta hassegi,

Then she asked whole of me or any specific part, after this question I got to know that smiley is a bit naughty too.I replied with all my naiveness, till yet my focus was your face, I smiled mischievously. Then we laughed together, she tried to hit me politely for finally flirting her a little.

After three hours she told me, I watch you almost done every day from the window with my friends and you know, once in a discussion my friends challenged me to talk to you they think I am not daring,
I accepted it, they think that you are bit weird. She chuckled, when I came to you they were looking at us, and you didn't notice a few of them passed by us just for eavesdropping. I softly punched with my feast on her shoulder.
…..but I had fun with you. And yes you walk like a penguin,
….I am going to kill you, I grabbed her neck in my arm softly.…and released it.(thinking…I forgot to wet deodorant, she will die. )
….and you don't know how to flirt at all Roshan. You need a crash course.

Ok, the feedback is truly noted,  it was a nice evening for me too, I mean what else a loner, a wander  can wish for, other than a charming lady as a walking companion, with a cup of tea in her hand.

I escorted her to her building, just before she left, I forced her to take one more cup of tea with me.

So smiley…. I said.
Yes penguin… She replied.
We both laughed.

Tell your your friends that I am not weird.
She laughed again, yes I will tell them you are just a baby-penguin……

Tell them smiley is daring, humorous and a darling creature and she knows how to create happiness, even in the worst time. Tell them penguin thinks that smiley will have struggling but wonderful life, and penguin wish the same for smiley. And tell them that smiley is a bit inspiring too.
And thank them for sending the you to me.

Aur kehna kmini thodi flirty bhi hai.…..
Now that was the moment of laughter.….

(Tu senty na huwa ker, she said)

I never thought I would be this happy to see a penguin, she chuckled. I laughed too.
Then finally she said, tell penguin that smiley was happy to see him, and wish to see him again.

Thank you for the great evening sweet penguin.
There was one thing, constant as time, it was our laugh. We shared thank you, sorry, and bye.

She made a promise to see me on a precipice named tomorrow. We hugged, I even dropped a small peck on the top of her head.

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Monday, December 7, 2015

कजरा तेरा...a "dream song"

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Once upon a time, under the light of moon a girl was crying with an immortal anguish. Her friend 'The moon' himself came to console her from the sky, she cried on his shoulder for a moment and rest of the time he kept wiping her tears. She has most beautiful eyes, he had ever seen. It was the first time when he was confronting a mortal creature.  he tried to make her smile, but humor was not his best suit. he felt what normally humans feel, an affection, an attachment with her agony, in verity of humans some are destined to fall for happiness and charm,some are cursed to fall for agony.

He felt like he is a human for a moment, the 'one' who usually fall for immortal agonies....... 
when he was going back, he looked at his palm, her "kajal" was there all over his palm and looked like one of most alluring sights he had ever seen. He walked a little with the constant gaze on the kajal of his Palm, he sat down on pavements looked at his palm, the shining dark color of her kajal was still there, he just wanted to keep looking at it as long as he live.

Something inside his heart had been changed, The thought of going away was pinching in his heart ,for some reasons it did sound like something unjust and peculiar. At first he did not know what exactly had happened to him but after a while he realized that he had fallen in love with that mortal creature. He thought The kajal is not bad for a token of  love. Then he recalled, he doesn't belong to this land he will have to go back, he can't abandon his own destination,he has his own journey to cover, but he kept the "kajal"with him,  The kajal on his palm was the most romantic sight he had ever seen in his eternal long lexistence.

And from that moment we all see some dark spots on moon. That dark spots are the token of love, an accidental gift, unintentionally given by a mortal creature to the immortal beauty of moon. He realized that a few seconds ago he dreamed a dream which will always remain a dream, "a shattered dream". He could see it in his tears. And for a brief moment he thought about his past and love what he never had. Then "the thought of being with that crying mortal" was sounding like his "dream song".

Just when i was done typing the poetry, this short story came to my mind.

ख्वाब जो मेरा टूट गया था 
आज फिर से मेरी आँखों पर है 
कजरा तेरा जो छूट गया था 
आज मेरे हांथों पर है 

तेरे आंसू, तेरी बातें 
आज मेरे सिर आँखों पर है 
मुझे फिर से मुहब्बत हो गयी है 
इक  टूटा ख्वाब है, जो मेरी आँखों पर है 

मेरी इबादत, मेरी अमानत 
बन गया है कजरा तेरा 
मैं नहीं जानता की खुदा है या नहीं 
बस तू है-और- मेरी हथेली पे 
बिखरा है कजरा तेरा 

मंजिल है इक दिल की अमानत 
सफर मेरा आबाद शजर है 
तुझसे मिल के याद आया है 
दिल मेरा भी बिखरा राहों पर है 

"ऐ राही" तेरा सफर तब तक ही है 
जब तक अधूरा है तू 
अपने अधूरेपन में ही तो पूरा है तू 
लौट जा इश्क़ की गलियों से 
तुझे  बुला रहा है सफर तेरा,

जब कभी तेरी याद आयेगी
नजर आएगा मुझे अपने हांथो पर 
बिखरा हुआ कजरा तेरा।

                -रोशन कुमार "राहीं "

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"ऐ दिलनशीं "

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...And the dusk was dwelling with de-light, waiting for moon to rise from the sea, in the garden of eternity. There i witnessed a Jugnu(firefly) and a bird enjoying the evening together and i over heard there conversation.

मैं कभी तेरी आँखों में देखूँ 
और मेरा दिल दरिया बन जाएं 
जिसकी लहरों पे तेरी मुस्कुराहटें,
तेरी मासूमियत कभी घूमने निकल जाएं 

बस मेरी जिंदगी को 
तेरी आहट तेरी मासूमियत  मिल जाएं 
मेरी उम्मीदें दूर तक खुशियों तलाश में जाये 
और बस एक मोड़ आये और मुझे तू मिल जाएं 

इश्क़ में जितना चलो कम  है 
कुछ कह के आँख तेरी भी नम है 
मेरी भी नम है 

मैं मुहब्बत से बोलू क़ि,
"इक बार अपने होंठो से  
अपना दीवाना कह दे  "ऐ दिलनशीं ""
और मेरी जिंदगी मुकम्मल हो जाये 
तेरे होंठो से गिरें कुछ शब्दों से

फिर कभी तेरी आँखों में देखूँ मैं
और तेरी आँखें मुस्कुराने की चाहत में 
आंसुओं से भर जाएं 

कि मैं कभी तेरी आँखों में देखूँ 
और मेरा दिल दरिया बन जाएं 

                      -रोशन कुमार "राहीं "

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