Follow by Email

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Notebook



everything and everyone crawl down to earth with a certain destiny
some things are destined to be somewhere 
this Diary had a destiny.
i purchased it more than a dozen of solstice ago
in 2007
just one day before the friendships day
i had a dream i will hand it over to its destined owner
and four months ago i did deliver it.
and i got a notification that the diary has reached at its destined place
so a heartfelt thanks to the delivering person, i owe you as i promised.
and i don't know currently if this diary is rotting in some
 trashcan or some place worse than that  
but i'm glad i tried. it took 7 years but finally i had that notification.
the notification can be a bogus but at least it sounds really pleasant :)












one day a few years back, i entered in ma bathroom and found this on the wall 
and i was amazed with this artistic creation of little creatures we know them as spiders.
it was really surprising. they knitted such thing and that inspired me 
to create a character for ma novel,
even the spiders of ma bathroom knows some/this alphabet/s




Read More

Thursday, September 18, 2014

A sparrow’s dream




Once upon a time there was a small plump grey bird named sparrow, living on a tree of a small town. She wants to settle her nest on the tallest tree near mountains. And with very hard work of collecting dry grass and other necessary things, successfully she knitted her nest in a few weeks on the tallest tree of her choice and scavenged the city and she has a lot other dreams too, with a confident feeling she swore to have them all achieved.

She laid eggs there in her new nest, it was like a little awkward place for her at first but she wanted to be there. In no time a flock became her friend. She liked going to chase the sunset till the rays of drowning piece of fire starts spreading darker shadows everywhere,

She wasn't aware of pro and cons of having a new place. One day a venomous viper came by crawling to her nest and buried his teeth in sparrow’s eggs and rest of nest fall down on the ground cause of vipers’ weight. And when in the evening when the bird came back and didn't find her nest on the it’s place, she fetched help and found it on the ground and the snake roaming around

She cried and depression possessed her soul and kept her numb for a full week she fetched help from the flock of eagles, the destroyer of the venomous creatures. They helped her out of pity. They found the snake crawling on the branch of trees and she witnessed herself when eagles drained the life out him in the sky amid the shining ray of sun. and after killing the snake they kept his body on the branch of same tree where sparrow lives so she can see the viper dead and feel peace. it finally fetched the sparrow a very tiny whim of peace. Well the fire of vengeance always burn to end of eternity.

She thought its not enough killing just one crawling beast with sharp teeth. She made a deal with a flock of eagle, little sparrow and her friends will find the crawlers and eagle will rip apart their venomous packets with their souls from vipers body. The deal was fine, eagles agreed to it. And in few days vipers extinct from that place of tallest trees.
In no time sparrows friends became her family, a couple of solstice passed she had her little sparrows playing in her nest. There growing wings were peaceful scene for the sparrow.

In the end this story make me feel that we all are same little sparrow. We all share the same dream “A Sparrow’s Dream”. We all face problems fight them and get them solved.

The thing that inspires me most in this story is “that tiny sparrow never gave up”, and the best thing this story taught me is “be honest with your dreams and your responsibility” like the sparrow did she had a dream and she worked on it until it was a reality.  You are the one who have to endeavor to turn it into reality. By being honest I mean if you are student study hard.  

"only your honesty with your dreams and responsibilities will place you closer to your goals"

I learned all these in last few weeks, how important it is to be honest to your dreams to achieve your destiny, I knew it from always but never took it seriously. Its sounds really strange to me, I’m a dreamer even then why I never had this sparrow’s will of getting things done. 

i started asking a question every night before i go to sleep, what i did today that will place me a little closer to my aim??, and the answer has a magical effect. if the answer will be no then i'll try to go better next day, if answer upholds certain magnitude in positive direction then its a good news :) I started feeling certain changes in me from then and it is a positive change. 

I’m not a sparrow but trust me I have dreams “sparrow’s dreams”.




I’m a sparrow, I will fly high
From the deep blue sea to the blue of heights
Challenges might grow vicious and dry
I will fly through same jungle, over same tides
I’ll stop a bit, and take a sigh
I’m free bird, don’t compare me with kites 
(kites = p't'ng = patang)


                                              - Roshan"
Read More

Saturday, September 6, 2014

A cup of tea



And it was the first night in Kanpur, 13th April 2007 that was the time when it all started. After dinner me and my roommate Ranu and his elder brother Ritesh went for a little walk towards Geeta nager crossing for having tea.

Well it was nothing special about going on walk and have some tea with friends with whom it was my first 24 hours. The thing I found special and peculiar was their interest about that nasty cup of hot beverage. I was told that sooner or later it’ll become your best friend.
I couldn’t fathom Ritesh bhai’s reason behind his enthusiasm about just a ridiculous cup of tea at then.

The days had flown away, I earned some headache because I was failing to understand Pankaj agrwal’s (chemistry teacher) concepts of “mole concept”.

Anish srivastava’s (physics teacher) vector theories and Anurag vishnoi’s (maths teacher) quadratic equations are not making my life any easier. And their I treated my tiredness and tension with concentrated mixture of milk, water and some leaves ‘came from the different land of livings’ followed by ilaa’y’chee. And then I came to understand why some people admire taking sips of tea so much, when the hot divine wine crawl down your throat and you feel the unimaginable pleasantness one can’t deny to have some more, unlike many country men I found myself sieged in territory of its taste. And of course I felt refreshed,

Well I took tea when I was happy or sad, when I felt that I am in love or when I was in rain or when I felt like I should walk a bit. I hope you got the point.

Sooner I realized that it’s not a choice any more that I want to take it or not. it became a need with time. Once I sipped 28 cups of tea during watching the Chinese movie “arhaan”, when I was in Kanpur.
Me and my best friends sorted out A lot of misunderstandings over a simple cup of tea. I mean it had that kind of power, that merely asking for going out for tea was able to put a smile on our faces. Some of my best friends are my best friends because we spent a lot of time discussing matters over tea. When I think about tea It reminds we what kind of person I was in past because it’s nothing that I have never shared with my tea and mirror. It reminds me of my best friends who cares for me, “Anand”.

It reminds me the time when after having tea in 2 o’ clock morning on rawatpur railway station we played cricket in front of vanshika girls hostel (R.S. puram..near kakadeo) with plastic balls. For me Having tea is shuffling trough memories.
It reminds me the old me. And for me its not any less than Vodka. J
So go on have a cup of tea or Coffey with a smile to enjoy another second of your life. May god bless your town with “ache chai wale”, unlike the place where I’m living :’( .


that pic was taken years ago near to the geetanager crossing where we use to go for tea


P.S.: i was checking if i too can write in English, so i wrote this post :) no hard feeling please about how rubbish my writing style is:)

Read More

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

"राहीं "


ना जाने क्या तकलीफ  है उसको "रोशन"
वो अक्सर आइनों से बात करता है 
लिखता है चाहे जो भी हो 
कुछ और रास्तें चल कर देखूंगा 
वो अक्सर ज़िंदा रहने की बात करता है 
न जाने क्या बदला भा गयी सादगी उसको 
वो अक्सर रास्तों में  मिलता है 
और चलते रहने की बात करता है 

कुछ पग डंडियां हकीक़त की
तरफ ले जाती है मुझको 
कुछ गुमराह कर जाती हैमुझको 
फिर भी मैअक्सर
जिंदगी से इकरार करता हूँ
मै राही हूँ रास्तों से प्यार करता हूँ "

मिलता हूँ जब भी उससे 
मुस्कुराते रहने की दुआ देता है 
देखता हूँ उसे तो खुद मुस्कुरा देता है 
न जाने क्या मंजिल है उसकी 
न जाने कहा जाना चाहता है 
देखकर ऐसा लगता है 
वो अक्सर आइनों में हमदर्द तलाश करता है 

पूछता हूँ बुरेवक़्त में क्या करते हो "राही" 
वो  बस मुस्कुरा कर
गुजर जाने की बात करता है 

अक्सर इंसान थक जाता है 
और जिंदगी हार जाती है 
सफलता  कुछ कदम दूर
खड़ी देखती रह जाती है 
लेकिन इस बार ठहर कर नहीें 
चल कर देखूंगा, हार को ज़िंदा रह कर देखूंगा 

अंजाम की फिक्र कब थी मुझे 
मै "राही" हूँ कुछ और रास्तों से गुजर कर देखूंगा 



ये राही इश्क़ तो नहीं  करता  लेकिन सपनो पे किसका वश है :). 


एक बार ख़ूबसूरती ने सपने में आकर कहा 
की ठहर जाओ मेरी बाँहों में
उसने मुस्कुरा कर लिखा  की 
हमसफ़र बनना है तो मिल जाओ कहीं राहों में 
                                                               

                              -रोशन कुमार "राहीं "








Read More

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

तड़प कर सोचता हूँ कि फिर से कुछ भीग जाऊ मैं

तड़प कर सोचता हूँ कि फिर से कुछ भीग जाऊ मैं 
अब भी धुँआ उठ रहा है  ऱाख से "रोशन" 
जी करता है पेड़ की किसी शाख से 
जिंदगी नोच लाऊ मैं 

मुहब्बत और जिंदगी लोगो को
अधूरा  छोड़ जाते है 
जी करता है इस खालीपन 
को कही पर फेक आऊ  मैं  

कांटे देखकर सोचता हूँ मैं 
अब इनकी बारी है 
शहतीरों की आँखों में देखकर सोचता हूँ 
दिल को काँटों के जंगल में अब छोड़ आऊ मैं  
मेरे मुक्कदर की लकीरें जब बढ़ने लगती है 
दुनियाँ बिन आग के जलने लगती है 
सोचता हूँ इन्हे देखकर ऐ "साकी"
की दुनिया छोड़ जाऊ मैं  
जी करता है दिल को काटकर 
कही पर फेक आऊ  मैं 

मेरे मिलकियत में होंगे जख्म कई सारे 
जब दर्द की रौशनी दिखती है 
तो तड़प कर सोचता हूँ 
कि फिर से कुछ  भीग जाऊ मैं 

अब बहूत भारी लगता है  
ये बोझ सांसों  का 
फिर तड़प कर सोचता हूँ मैं 
नर्क  के दरवाजे पर  अब  लौट जाऊ मैं  
ये दिल जब दर्द की सहराओं पर होता है 
तो बारिश होती है 
और तड़प कर सोचता हूँ मैं  
की जी भर के भीग जाऊ मैं  



  • और कोई भी जिंदगी मुहब्बत के बिना कहा पूरी होती है. मुहब्बत जिंदगी का एक खास Ingredient है. अगर इक बार किसी को मुहब्बत हो जाये तो अंजाम चाहे जो भी हो, उस एहसास की खुशबू ताउम्र साथ रहती  है. तो कुछ पंक्तियाँ मुहब्बत के नाम:-





जब मुहब्बत की बात आती है 
तो तेरी याद आती है 
जी करता है तेरे कदमों को फिर से 
अपनी फ़रियादों से सींच आऊ  मैं 
तेरे पीछे फिर से लौट आऊ  मैं 
तेरी याद में फिर से चीख कर रो लूँ 
या फिर से कुछ मुस्कुराऊ मैं 
कुछ भी करता हूँ
खुद को आंशुओं की दहलीज़ में पाता हूँ मैं 
मुहब्बत दिल में है फिर भी 
तनहा रह जाता हूँ 
मैं सोचता हूँ तो 
तेरे यादों की बारिश होती है 
और तड़प कर सोचता हूँ कि ,
फिर से  फिर से भीग जाऊ मैं 



Read More

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

तेरी आहट जब दूर जाती है

तेरी आहट जब दूर जाती है 
तो बुरा  सा लगता  है
जब बारिश सी ठंडक दिखती है 
तो मैं तेरी दी हुयी यादें लेकर  
रास्तों पर बहुत दूर तक 
जाने को निकल जाता  हूँ 
तेरी तस्वीर आँखों के सामने से हट जायें  
तो बुरा  सा लगता  है

उन सपनों की उम्मीद में
रात भर जागता हूँ  
जिनमे तुझसे बातें नहीं हो पाती
तू सपनों  में भी 
 बिना देखे मुड जाती है 
तो बुरा  सा लगता  है

बस इक लम्हे का फर्क है 
तुझे देखने और तुझसे इश्क़ हो जाने में 
तेरी आँखों में नफरत नजर आये
तो बुरा  सा लगता  है

यूँ  तो तेरी मुस्कुराहटें जिंदगी है मेरी 
तू दूर से देखकर मुस्कुराये 
तो बुरा  सा लगता  है
अब घुँघरू से लेकर भौरों की गुंजन तक में 
तेरी तस्वीरेँ दिखती है 
बस तू हकीकत में अनदेखा कर जाये 
तो बुरा  सा लगता  है

Read More

Sunday, August 3, 2014

इक छाँव लिखा है मैंने

 डायरी  के इक पन्ने पर फिर से 
 तेरा नाम लिखा है मैंने 
आज बारिश है कल धुप होगी 
नीले रंग में फिर से 
इक छाँव लिखा है मैंने
मन परछाइयाँ  देता है 
पीछे भागते रहने को 
कुछ पन्ने पलट कर डायरी के 
इबादतगाह लिखा है मैंने 

जब हज़ारों बुँदे चुभती है 
खालीपन में तो समंदर बनता है 
भीग कर वर्षोँ तेरी यादों में 
डायरी के इक पन्ने पर फिर से 
तेरा नाम लिखा है मैंने 

तेरी शायरी  भी क्या खूब है "रोशन "
इक बार तो खुद तुझको भी
 अंजान लिखा है उसने 

अक्सर सोच के दामन में
वो कातिल लौट आता है "रोशन"
डायरी के इक पन्ने  पर 
जिसके साथ जीने का ख्याल लिखा है तुमने 

वक़्त शातिर है जो बदल जाता है 
वरना उसे भी
 पागल आशिक़ लिख दिया  होता मैंने 
 डायरी  के इक पन्ने पर फिर से 
 तेरा नाम लिखा है मैंने। 

                                             -रोशन 

Read More

Thursday, July 31, 2014

एक वज़ूद मेरा भी है

मैं  घर से आ रहा था, ट्रैन २० मिनट तक कानपुर के रेलवे स्टेशन पे रुकी रही और वहा मैंने २ कवितायेँ लिखी ये उनमे से एक है. कानपूर जहां मुझे किसी को देखकर ये एहसास हुआ की एक वज़ूद मेरा भी है. मुझे भी हक़ है अपनी पसंद रखने का अपने शौक रखने का. मैंने आखिरी ६ महीनो में कोई कविता नही लिखी, कुछ लिखा ही नहीं जा रहा था. लेकिन जब कानपूर के स्टेशन पे ट्रेन रुकी तो लगा की जैसे कुछ मै  उन्ही पिछले दिनों में आ गया हूँ , मुझे लगा मैं यह से अभी जाऊंगा रावतपुर के ऑटो पकडूँगा और फिर से किसी न किसी कोचिंग में वो नजर आएगी मुस्कुराती हुयी। या फिर अनीश की कोचिंग के बाहर  ऑटो काइंतजार करती हुयी, मैं  फिर से अपनी PG की बॉलकनी से उसे देखूंगा या फिर क्लास में उसके पीछे बैठने की कोशिश करूंगा, फिर लिखा मैंने। मेरी दूसरी कविता जिंदगी के ऊपर है, मैंने उसमे दिखाया है की कैसे मैं बस कुछ कदम चला था जिंदगी के साथ और काफी दूर निकल आया.

"शायद कभी कभी जिंदगी कुछ दायरों में दफन  रहना पसंद करती है और इंसान उससे ताउम्र बाहर नही निकल पाता"  :) 

और शायद इन्ही दायरों में इंसान बहुत कुछ सिखता है जो सीख उसके साथ हमेशा रहती है.


फिर वही लौट कर आया आया हूँ मै
जहा तूने अहसास दिलाया था
एक  वज़ूद मेरा भी है
तुझसे मुहब्बत कर बैठा 
और अब तक समझ नहीं पाया 
की गलती सिर्फ मेरी है 
या कुछ कसूर तेरा भी है 

फिर से रौद कर  आया हूँ 'वो रास्तें'
जहा तेरी सूरत मेरा इत्मिनान हुआ करती थी
तुझे देख केर समझा की 
"जिंदगी" जैसा एक सफर मेरा भी है 

अब भी खामोश हूँ मै  वहा
जहा  तेरी मुस्कुराहटें
मेरी खुशियों का आगाज़ हुआ करती थी
तुझे चहकते देख कर दोस्तों के साथ 
सोचताहूँ तुझसे बात करने का हक़ तो मेरा भी है 

अब भी उलझा है दिल उन गलियों से
जहा तेरे कदमो के निशान मेरी पहचान हुआ करते थे
फिर से उन्ही कतरो  की रौशनी से देख रहा हूँ 
तेरी आने की हर आहट  के पीछे 
एक निशा मेरा भी है 

फिर वही लौट कर आया हुँ मै
जहा तेरी नफरत भी मेरी अमानत हुआ करती थी
कभी कभी बेबस महसूस करता हूँ
और ये सोच कर मुस्कुरा उठता हूँ मैं 
की नफरत का ही सही 
तेरे दिल में एक ख्याल मेरा भी है 

                                                                                  -रोशन 





Read More

जिंदगी से मैंने कभी कुछ माँगा तो नहीं

This piece of writing is penned by my cousin sister. She is a student of 12th class. Her name is Shivangi Shingh Yadav. She asked me if i can put it on my blog. so here it is little sister.



जिंदगी से मैंने कभी कुछ माँगा  तो नहीं 
पर जो मिला मांगे ना मिलता 
जो लम्हे जिंदगी ने दियें भुलाये न भूलेंगे 
वो हमेशा साथ रहेंगे 

जिंदगी से मैंने कभी कुछ माँगा  तो नहीं 
बिन मांगे बहुत  कुछ  मिल गया मुझे 
पर हमें क्या पता था ये सब पल भर के है 
जो जिंदगी ने कभी दिए थे मुझे 

जिंदगी से मैंने कभी कुछ माँगा  तो नहीं 
कुछ ख्वाहिशें बिन मांगे ही पूरी कर ली 
क्या पता था की कुछ ख्वाहिशें सपने बनकर रह जाएँगी 
वो जो मैंने कभी चाहे थे 

जिंदगी से मैंने कभी कुछ माँगा  तो नहीं 
तकलीफ इस बात की नहीं है,
तकलीफ इस बात से है की 
जो दिया वो छीन गया 
पर मै अब भी निराश नही 

जिंदगी से मैंने कभी कुछ माँगा  तो नहीं 
जो मिला उससे खुश हूँ मै 
क्यों की मालूम है मुझे 
की हर किसी को मुक्कमल जहां नहीं मिलता 
पर इक तरह से देखूं तो मुझे वो भी मिल गया 

जिंदगी से मैंने कभी कुछ माँगा  तो नहीं 
बस अपनी ही अमानत खोते हुये देखा है 
कभी जिंदगी ने रहम न दिखाया मुझपर 
क्यों की जिंदगी से मैंने कुछ माँगा  तो नहीं 
                                -शिवांगी सिंह यादव 



Read More

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Alibi : My defence for innocence official release pictures



Date :14th april 2014
Venue : Chancellors office































Read More

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

इक उम्र आसाँ हो गयी

एक वक़्त  में इतनी मुश्किलें आई
इक जिंदगी बदल गयी
इक उम्र  आसाँ हो गयी

मालूम हुई जब हकीक़त दिल को
की सुबह में भी शाम से अँधेरे है
कुछ मंजिलें सवर गयी
कुछ राहें बदल गयी

जो चिराग बुझा कर  मैंने
सुलगते पैमानों के
मुश्किलें बिखर गयी
मंजिलें आसाँ हो गयी

जाम-ए -तवज्जों  में होंठों से
जहर के पुलिंदे लगा कर देखा
आँखें मेरी  खुल गयी
इक उम्र आसाँ हो गयी

वक़्त के मुंडेर से देखा दुनिया को
मेरी शामें रौशन हुई
इक तमन्ना सी जिंदगी सी जिंदगी गयी

कुछ किरणे निकल गयी रौशनी देकर
कुछ उम्रे निकल गयी दुआएं देकर
इक ख्वाब के जायके को होंठों से लगाया
कुछ ख़ाहिशें बदल गयी
कुछ जिंदगी आसाँ हो गयी

मैंने मर के देखा यहां पर
कुछ लकीरें बदल गयी
कुछ शोहरतें नादान हो गयी

कुछ  आसरे से बुझ गए
कुछ नई उमीदें रौशन हुवी

                                    -रोशन 

Read More

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Kanpur delights


The Topic
Seriousness is a very serious disease. From that annoying aunty, who’s more concerned about your life than your parents are, to your boss/professor, who’s more punctual than time, we’re all surrounded by people jinki #ConditionSeriousHai. Some seriousness victims take things seriously and the rest are genuinely serious. Blog about your encounter with someone or something jiski #ConditionSeriousHai and ensure that it doesn’t make your readers serious. Because seriousness, well, it’s contagious.



Kanpur delights

Well it’s quite interesting to think about the old days full of mischievousness and people who were part of it, Friends and their amiability and challenges they had enterprises and few other people, who’s irritating style poured crisp into our lives. Luckily I was fated with rich no of people, who were blessed with that kind of charm. The one I’m going to introduce you is bothersome oldy Mr. Katiyar (owner of the house). If you’d like to meet someone (#Jiski condition serious hai) whose sense of humor had been surgically removed then you can pronounce Mr. katiyar as an eligible personality. As the story proceeds, you will know why I said so.
The story started seven years ago, when after completion my matric, I left my home place Rasra for the very first time ever since I was born
 It was a whole of a new world in Kakadeo, Kanpur (13 April 2007). A lot of new places to roam like J.K. Temple, a lot of verities of people to meet. I was there as a paying guest in the KATIYAR’S HOUSE (presently it’s a girls hostel), what resides exactly behind the “Kulwanti Hospital”. Luckily I never got a chance to visit that hospital for any speculative reason.
I was strictly warned from my father (Dr.)
 “I have a friend there in hospital who will keep an eye on you. so don’t roam too much and concentrate on your studies
(The first thing came in my mind was #hindi- ager ek ankh mere upper rakhega to dusri ko kha nutralise krega???)
I guess that was a fine warning. Basically I knew what exactly they want to say 
Don’t roam around girls
These words were the last see off words from Dad. Well it was only second time in whole of my life when my Dad and I had discussed on “girls and relationships of my life”. 
The first one surfaced up when I was in 6th or 7th class. i copied an essay on best friend from my sister’s copy and forgot to change some words.
“It’s hard to find a friend like her. Without her I would not be as happy as I am now. Through good and bad times, I’m positive that forever we will still remain friends. She’s a friend that I could and will never forget”
Everyone their giving me a cute smile, making fun of me on just few simple writing mistakes, but now I can understand why they laughed at me.
Amm..i think that’s not our story
So where was i??
Yes, Mr. katiyar I never bothered to ask his full name ever in those horrible two years in which we annoyed each other beyond the limits of the word ‘immense’
Well the story of katiyar family was a little sad, he lost his loving wife merely a month back, but his all 3 Daughter-in-laws were happy for having no old fatty little dork as their mother-in-law.
When I joined his house the first person I met was none other than Mr. katiyar
Who came up with list of rules and regulation to be followed and latched it all onto me. He kept it doing until I started feeling like my ears are about to bleed,

I said its ok I got it all, don’t you worry Mr. katiyar, I’m assuring you, you won’t get any complain from me.
MERI BAT SUNO…, Mr. katiyar said, exposing his broken front teeth
I not at all a bad guy, trust me, I said innocently.

MERI BAT SUNO…., I don’t allow any other tiffin man/women other than amma ji.
So tell him you don’t need him.

But Mr. katiyar I already have paid him for this month, and its twenty one days still left, and you know better, they don’t return the advance money, I will be in huge loss if I do so.  I narrated him my problem.

MERI BAT SUNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TUM BAS!!! ‘Mr katiyar yelled’. I was bonded to cover my nose to save myself from his acid-breath.
I don’t care about your losses, just tell him I can’t allow him inside the building, what if he will steal something???

Finally after a long debate we decided, our tiffin man won’t come inside, And after twenty days we join amma ji’s tiffin service
Such a loud voice and chafing nature he has. The worst thing he never thought about was his ill-scented breathL. Sometimes it gets tougher to keep your urge of vomiting down.
And I had to swallow some other rules like no friend from outside the building is allowed to walk inside. And you have to get yourself inside before 21:30

OH!!! Dear God please help those innocent girls, who are presently living in that hostel (its 2014 but sadly Mr. katiyar is still alive)

In whole of that discussion I asked some question. I really hate those kind off people who make stupid faces when they don’t understand something and who consequently are making stupid face all the time. Later on I got to know that, that smutty look was in Mr. katiyar’s skin from long ago we met. Maybe because he was 60+ old and he lost his sense of humor.

A month later, in the morning I was in washroom with lights on, with a song on my tongue

“judaa hoke bhi……………
  tu mujhme khi baaki hai………..”

Well here you can get yourself confused. I sincerely require your attention on the situation (on what I was doing and the song) . Have you ever thought about these two lines of the song while you were performing on the toilet seat???? .
Try it some time

I was busy in Putting down all the oily glories I ate. May be my stomach was not happy about amma ji’s creepy tiffin dinner, amma ji was the tiffin supplier in that PG

The door of washroom has crevices from top to the bottom, anyone can see through it if anyone wish so…..
I saw someone peeping from that crevice,
BLOODY HELL!!!!  I’m gonna kill you. Get lost you m@##b%%
My temper was on its extreme. Even if it was Mr. katiyar, he had no right to see me in that situation (#hindi:-hadd hoti hai yar!!!). With a tormenting question, what the hell that person must have seen????, I finished washing myself and rushed to kill that person.
And saw that filthy person’s back, he was dressed with quite smutty undergarments. I witnessed the DARKNESS peeping out from few small visible holes of his underwear, when he turned back and I saw his face. I tried to understand his situation of having a pressure of thousands of Pascal rising from his stomach to his face.
You can walk with a ton of load on your head, BUT!! It’s really tough to walk even a pace carrying a few milligrams material inside your abdomen.
I changed my mind about scolding him, the moment I came out, he rushed into the washroom. The basin was positioned quite close to washroom, from their I heard different kind of song coming out from the washroom
And guess what, I thought my song was better, I washed my hand and came back to my room

Next morning same thing happened.
Again he peeped into the washroom when I was inside dealing with my upset stomach.
I thought changing my time is the best idea. I knew it very well, I can’t avenge it just by doing the same as he did. It was a horrible idea of course. It wasn’t just me to whom Mr. katiiyar had victimizes with peeping thing from the crevice, many other students too had faced the same.
Other PG mates were angry too, for this Mr. katiyar’s act, but room was near to the coaching so no one ever bothered to say anything for sake of comfort. And after all Mr. katiyar is male, So does it matter even If he had seen something???(It was Ranu’s opinion).
In those few months, I had a lot of new friends Neelmani, Sachin, Abhay, Akhil, Ranu.

After a little time:
It’s was a long gloomy week, entangled between mathematical formulas and mating of different atoms inside the test tube. In the abundance of ticks and toks, no other movement was happening  
So Mr. crazy cooper,  Ranu (roommate and his best friend Akhilesh singh planned to show some craftiness to scare other hostlers. They purchased the scary most mask from the Ravemoti (shopping mall).
In the mid night they shrouded their bodies with white cloth. Neelmani (Neel) was walking towards the stairs, and they were waiting on the stairs with the mask on their faces. They already had switched off all the lights to create dark environment. As soon as Neel set his first step, Ranu and Akhil lit the lighter in front of their masked face, his eyes had fallen on the lurking ghosts. Neel’s face endured glimpse of horror, Ranu and Akhilesh laughed devilishly and unlit the lighter.
It was a glance lasted merely a moment long, in which neel witnessed two ghost faces with candle in their hands. With this very hallucinating scene in mind, Neel started shouting “aaaaaaa…..”
And tried to run backward with sweaty face and collided with wall behind him. Somehow neel managed to run away from that place and succeed in saving his life from two deadly ghosts.
Ranu and Akhil found themselves rolling on the floor and laughing. They went to Neel’s room and consoled him and made a lot of fun of him with his roommates.

After discussing a little bit about how scary that was they decided to try that on me. Luckily I was trying to sleep at then, they planned to wake me up scare me. they entered in my room without making any noise and  switched of the tube light first and then Ranu pulled the blanket down like he had seen it in the movies. Neel shook my bed from under the bed. When they thought I’m opening my eyes they lit the lighter and laughed in the same scary manner, which they had tried on Neel and unlit the lighter again. In the very next moment they heard a loud noise of ‘something banging on something’. Even Mr. katiyar heard the loud noise what came up after the bang, form the mouth of Akhil.
Actually I already knew their plan of scaring others, I heard them talking few hours ago, they thought I’m sleeping but I wasn’t. So I was damn sure, they will try that on me, so I was ready for this situation with a fry pan. (I heard how they scared Neel and Neel’s shivering voice.)  When they came for scaring me, I was ready I banged the fry pan on Akhil’s head without counting. No one had clue of what’s going on. Ranu ran towards the switch board and switched on the light to see what happened, they found Akhil lying on the ground, holding his head and moaning slowly oh my god! When Ranu and neel understood what just happened they kept laughing for hours

Neel said “Aur d’rao salo”, well done Roshan, well done.

We tried to soothe the Akhil bedeviled soul.
Yar please just leave it. I’m sorry I shouldn’t hit you that hard on your bloody head’ ‘I said, laughing wickedly’

Akhil stood up and took my blanket and threw it on Ranu and shouted
“maro sale ko, sab iska plan tha”

Well Neel was the first one who started avenging, he started throwing punches fists on Ranu. Akhil snatched the fry pan from my hand and kept hiting Ranu so hard. I got nothing else to hit him with, so I kicked him on his bump with all the power I had.
Next moment silence was running in our gestures. Actually when I kicked him his head collided with wall and started bleeding. Well he stood up somehow and abused everyone. We gave him proper first aid. After all a friend in need is a friend indeed.  During the fight we made too much noise, that was unbearable for Mr. katiyar, so he came in our room (I was the first one who got a cloth for covering my nose)

Don’t you guys know how to live in a house??? Were you people taught any manners in your house?? My family trying to get some sleep.

Sorry Mr. katiyar I squalled.

MERI BAT SUNO ROSHAN… (in the same loud irritating voice), if you want to live here in MY HOUSE then there are rules and discipline , if you can’t follow you should pack your bags and leave the next day, there is no place for such bothersome Brats in my house.

 Akhil was the biggest brat amongst us, ‘he spoke,‘ we are just trying to have some fun Mr. katiyar’
Mr. katiyar slapped him on his face.  And latched the same lecture on rules and social life.

Akhil was a little tempered lad. He pushed him to the wall and grabbed his collar, ‘listen, you fucking old moron’ we are showing patient and respect doesn’t mean we can’t do anything. We are little remorseless when we decide to hurt someone.

Next Day Akhil left the hostel but we didn’t. We don’t believe in avenging in a single moment we stayed to fate Mr. Katiyar an endless torture. Akhil wasn’t that kind of guy I wanna befriend with. So I chose, not to go with him. But still Mr. katiyar had experience of more than 60 years he shouldn’t have acted aggressively. That’s made me think about revenge for our friends insult.

Mr. katiyar were always quite concern from that day about what I’m doing And what not.
There were few others things we did as a start of revenge, we kept a coin in bulb’s socket, and short circuited everything.  And we stole his driving license from his bike and purchased a lot sim cards and spread it to our friends.

With time other things showed up. Corner most room on the ground floor was a cyber café with four computers and one printing machine. Presently it’s an axis bank ATM. Few days later I was inside the café and that was the luckiest day of my life (maybe). An angel in white fur and blue denims walked inside and sat on first computer. I was on the third. I lost my heart that very moment when I saw her first time. I think the best thing happened to me till yet is love. With that owner of hallucinating smile and haunting charm. Sometime I think may be someone just invented language because a radiant beauty like her  deserve to be praised, gorgeous , stunning, ravishing, dazzling, bewitching, Hypnotic these were just those moron words, trying to explain the endless, inestimable beauty.
After seeing her I was in complete position to use these words ‘A thing of beauty is a joy forever, its loveliness increases, it will never pass into nothingness." Never. It wasn’t just her beauty it was whole of her, her beauty and her character drove me crazy.  Something’s never dies, I’m glad, I have something immortal in my heart.
After months of hard work finally someone told me her name “Ankita”.  I was staring at her.
She too did so quite a few times, actually exactly six times from the moment she entered, to when she left

I was staring at prettiest girl I have ever seen and Mr. katiyar were gazing at me.
That was another most irritating habit of Mr. katiyar wherever I go he stares.  Ankita stayed there for almost half an hour and we kept ourselves busy in our staring business. It is immensely irritating if someone with old pesky gesture stare at you and notice your each and every move. So what if I was doing the same, so what if i was staring at his prettiest customer. And it’s not just Ankita whenever he finds me in range of his dim sight the only thing he do is stare.
(#Hindi:- matlab had hoti h yr!!!...yha is bechare boodhe aam  aadmi ki condition to wakai serious hai, akhir chahta kya hai???)Mr. katiyar whenever finds me around Ankita in the café (she often comes their), He always try to pull me out from the café with some excuses
me and Ankita had just two micro-sized communications. The first one came up when she came for having some rediffboll time. (Rediffboll is a chat messenger)
The second one came up about a month later, when she was passing by the same café. And there is hell-long a story, about how I grew crazy for that girl. She had stillness on her face, and how I lost my heart that very moment when I saw her first time. It doesn’t holds much of a necessity here to parcel every bit of story. The only thing I like to share with you gladly is ‘The first day when I set my foot in kakadeo was Ankita’s Birthday, ‘13th April 2007’
Me and Mr. love irritating each other So I decided to avenge it.  Here it wasn’t the case of ‘song’ and washroom, so I can avenge it. I needed to something different this time, and I was running out of ideas. Luckily on last night one of my friends Abhay narayan singh(from unnao)
Challenged me to buy a packet of condom. I have come from a semi-rural area, where purchasing condom was like having a deal with devil.  Didn’t I mention I’m a daring boy?

With stammering and shaking legs and blood throbbing heart in louder pitch. I went to medical shop resides near to Rawatpur Railway crossing and shouted

Can I have a packet of condom please???
That shopkeeper stared at me took a good look of me. Well in looks I was merely 16 year old, sweet little boy. (#Hindi:- Jiski kajraaree ankho pe kudiya fidaa thi.. wo bat aur hai ki kamini mostly sister ki friend thi )
I took matter in my own hands and spoke again
You know it’s for my elder brother…
According to me it was a clarification about I’m not going to use that, I tried to smile with my words. I was kiddish enough not to understand, why the shopkeeper and his friend burst into laughter. Finally he stood up and moved to the place where he kept condoms, and I thought he is trying to come out for catching me for handing me over to police for such a heinous crime of purchasing condoms.
My legs were still shaking at it max. I was ready to run as I was warned from Ranu
Don’t get caught, and when the shopkeepers comes after you, run faster and don’t come to us,
Abhay and my roommate Ranu were watching from so for, from a safe distance.
For few seconds shopkeeper didn’t moved from his place and in the very next moment, I was feeling happy when shopkeeper returned me 25 bucks from 100 with packet of condom.
Until that moment of my life I never knew the meaning of feeling really really awkward BUT!!!! Finally, I won the battle.
I DID IT ….for the very first time in my life. In Purchasing a condom when you are not going to use it and having first sex encounter each and every steps are always creates huge awkwardness.
Well finally, to become even with Mr. katiyar we planned to put condoms on the corners of the floors where Mr. katiyar and his family lives. (Three sons and their wives, few grandsons)
As we had planned, condoms were kept. one at balcony, one on the top floor, sadly none of my friends have ever touched condom till then and they had no other use of it other than throwing it away (unused), so we planned all this. And on the holy next day we enjoyed the scolding time of Mr. katiyar to their honorable sons
Well I wanted to let Mr. katiyar know how much i hate people who complain loudly about how embarrassed they are
Another few irritating charms Mr. katiyar own are as follows:
: As every other annoying house owner Mr. katiyar too had that thing of started shouting for room rent form three four days before the month starts

Well there are a lot of stories that could be told, allow me to share a few of them
Mr. katiyars room was on the ground floor and there was a common door for connecting our rooms from inside from where we can easily hear even if his nose roars loudly. One day when we all were on our bed, ready to sleep, suddenly we heard unconditioned sounds that appeared to be coming from Mr. katiyars ass. my roommate fall from his bed, laughing madly.  That day we got know it’s not just Mr. katiyars ‘nose’ what roars loudly
And one morning Mr. katiyar’s sons were shouting on him, on eavesdropping a little bit we got to know he peed in his cyber café on his printing machine after getting madly drunk on last night.
He often call me for helping with printing out stuff even when he knows I don’t know how to do all this but still I use to spend a little time every day in café with a hope that Ankita will come here again, and I was a little organized person I paid Mr. katiyars grandson some cash and kind just for informing me, if by chance she show up here in the cafe.
Once Mr. katiyar scolded one of my friends for nothing, actually after sixty anyone can go crazy, and we were not “let it go type boys”, we never was.
For avenging it we stick the i-candies (pictures of hot beauties with bare bodies, bikini babes) on outer surface of our balcony, it was quite a scene next day students gathered and laughed showed their giggles finally when Mr. katiyars saw that he took another class and told us to find room somewhere else. he can’t handle us, Nothing happened we stayed there as long as we wished.
: Mr. katiyar whenever comes downstairs with his pet, he lift the doggy up with the string looped around his neck, just because it’s tough to stop him from sniffing everything, it’s always sounds like
“He hanged his pet still he is not dead as YET!! Somehow,  but someday he will be”.
On behalf of the dog we tried to tease Mr. katiyar and here we did something pun intended.
We wrote a letter to him, the letter was from his dead wife who died few months back,

    Dearest husband,
                               I had an eye on you, from the moment i came here. You have wasted enough time torturing kakadeo’s Innocent girls and boy’s. I have everything checked. Hell is so beautiful and everything is prepared so well for your arrival. Come soon
P.S. surely it’s hot down here.
                                                                                
                                                                                                  Love and regrets
                                                                                                Deepu’s mom



                                                   katiyar house(kanpur)

Read More

Thursday, September 19, 2013

तसवीरें





तूने उसे  खोया मैंने तुझे खोया 
कुछ तो तेरी  बातों   ने रुलाया 
कुछ मै अपनी बेबसी पर रोया 
कही दर्द  ना हो तुझे मेरी आँखों  देखकर 
तेरी खुशियों खातिर मै मुस्कुरा कर रोया 
देख ना ले मुझे बेबस तू 
तेरी खातिर को खुद को मै 
तेरी बाहों में छिपा कर रोया 
तेरे नाम की दौलत दिल में भर कर आया था 
मेहकदों में सब कुछ लुटा कर  रोया 

जब तूने जाहिर किया शब्दो में
तुझे भी भी प्यार है मुझसे  
मै तुझको अपने साथ रुलाकर कर रोया 
तेरी तस्वीर को सीने से लगा कर  रोया 
होश था बीतें लम्हों में शायद 
मै शाकी के साथ लडखडा कर रोया 

कुछ जिंदगी की  बीती बातें  है
तेरे साथ गुजरे लम्हों की यादें है 
कभी तुझे भुलाकर तो
कभी अपना बनाकर रोया 
माना किसी और की अमानत है तू 
कुछ शिकवें दिल में जलाकर,
तो कुछ आखों  में सजाकर कर  रोया 
तेरी याद में खुद को भुला कर  रोया 
अब यादो में आना छोड़ दे मेरे 
कुछ अपने दिल को समझा कर 
तो कभी तेरे  शहर से दूर जाकर जा कर  रोया

 ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,roshAn”

Read More