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Tuesday, August 13, 2013

hyat ki raho me

hyat means life
ishsq me khi  gyi sabse jyada gehri bate bhasa ke sabse jyada shaleen ehtiyat me hoti hai, 
isliye mne puri saleenta se sabdo ko chuna hai, ye pyar bhi kitta ajeeb hota hai, kisi ajnabee
se mil ke lagta hai ki jindagi is bewkuf ke bina adhuri thi, mere sapno ke khalipan me iski 
kami thi, aur fir ye jruri to nhi ki her ishq ko uska mukam mil jaye her sapne ko haqueekat 
me whi anjam mil jaye. kabhi kabhi kuchh kisse adhure reh jate hai,jse kuchh dino 
pehle aayi movie "RANJHNA" me huwa tha. bechara kundan samajh hi nhi paya pyar 
ke kuchh wasoolo ko. "bewkuf"!!!, soch rha tha ki uska pyar joya ko badal  sakta hai
,but thanx to the story writer usne accuratly dikhaya ki kse kisi ka gehra pyar bhi kisi ko 
badal dene ki kuwat nhi rakhta, aur reality me aisa hi hota hai.  aur mujhe bhi ye tab samjh
me aaya meri best friend shrishty ne mujhe examples ke sath  adhe ghante tak samjhaya. 
means ager kisi ka  apna mood na ho to kisi ka pyar use nhi  badlata, you can see it in 
others relationships you will find a lot of true lovers obsessed  with regretful habits but they 
just don’t change them for anyone.


hai khi koi chikhta sa
is darar-e-darmiyan me
her waqt khi bhigta sa
ek khanjer mere arman me
hyat ki raho me
ijhar tha tujhse
pehli najer se hi
mujhe pyar tha tujhse
is kabra me mujhko
ek jmana yad aata hai
Bas tujhe dekhker khud ko
bhul jana yad aata h
tere pichhe apni rahe
bhatak jana yad aata hai


Kuchh pal ko tune hsaya tha
kuchh pal tune rulaya tha
dil tut jayega aaine ki terah
tune najane kitni dfa btaya tha
ab aur rounga to ye
kabra ki miti bheeg jayegi
meri dilkash khani me, teri yado se
jagunga to, tu khi bhi na najer aayegi
tera mujhe nafrat me bhi
gale se lagana yad aata hai
tere ishq me sab kuchh
bhul jana yad aata hai


Ye us khuda ki inayat h
jha bashindo ka bas nhi chalta..
aj is kafn-e-fitrat me bhi
mujhe tera mere gale se
lag jana yad ata hai
chirago ki roshni si
kuchh pal ki jindagi thi meri
teri bato ke khanjer se bhi dhul na payi
meri dil se muhabbat ki kasak teri
bas teri muhhbat ki khaniya sunker
mere dil ka tut jana yad aata hai

jis rang me chubhti h khwahishe
meri mujhme her khi tak
waqt ki bhini bhini si mehek me
bikhra hu yado me mahkashi tak
meri  kabra pe khile fulo sa
muskura rha hu mai
ab bas tujhe khus dekh ker
is khamoshi me jiye ja rha hu mai

dubne per  tere faislo me
bachpan ka jmana aata hai
kuchh pal ke liye mujhe
kundan purana yad aata hai
wo mere kadmo tale bhagti galiya
tere pichhe apni rahe'
bhatak jana yad aata hai
tujhko aino me dekh ker
khud ko samjhana yad aata h

hasrat to ik awara khwahish hai,
fir bhi kabhi tumse jo
kisi janm me mai mila..
Tab bhi usi tashnagi usi siddat
se tumhe khuda se mangunga
tab bhi tumhe wse hi
bina kisi wajah ke chahunga.
Ter ishq me m tab bhi
unhi galiyo se gujer jaunga...
Jha khoya tha tujhe "joya"
jha chaha tha tujhe "joya"
ye jante huwe ki kabhi
tera na ban paunga
mujhe ab bhi tera ek bar wo
jhuta ikrar ker jana yad aata hai
ab bhi tujhe soch ker mujhe
mera muskurana yad aata hai

                                   ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,roshAn”
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Monday, August 12, 2013

A beauty of with in

The silence on that evening seemed harsher. Light of the bulb, in my room danced in all the corners of my room. Some corners, where darkness run wild, had been envious for far too long and now they have learned to love the portion of light and darkness they received. 

It was 7:00 PM, a moist evening was visible, The cold had the whole city as it’s siege. I, however, was rolling on my bed, from one corner to another, the breath I was drawing didn’t have any taste, generally I find a sense of glee in every action. The peace of my mind was absent.

That evening was irksome, for some reasons, I was highly stressed. I needed to do something to turn the situation around. A walk has always been best stress buster for me.  So I went for a walk, in search of peace, on a long road which goes to JK TEMPLE. That is a famous temple of Kanpur, 

On that evening, when I saw someone, sitting peacefully, on a chair, doing nothing about the problems, which did not concern them.  I didn’t understand they manage to do it.  I saw a begger, on my way to the temple, even he seemed happier than me.
I was sure there is something wrong with this evening or with this universe.

In such cases, humans look for a hope, most of time they visit a temple, bow down for their gods. I wanted to try the same. I have so much about the temple and how it’s rich aroma helps change your mood.

I lived in Katiyar’s house, which is  right behind the Kulwanti hospital, in Kakadeo, Kanpur. In last few days I realized having a walk from gets anger crossing to neer-chheer chauraha wasn’t working for  me. I needed some peace for my mind, it was bewildered and confused.

On the way to JK temple, which was almost two kilometers for from there, I did so many awkward things, For a moment I just ran. I don’t know why but It was helping me to stay away from other tormenting thoughts, I took a sudden stop and stayed there like statue for few seconds, 

At times I stood still on the curb and raised my hand as I was trying to stop something. Then I thought, “what the hell is wrong with me.”

It was like my thoughts has risen from my mind  and stopped my legs from moving.
 it wasn’t intentional it was happening because I was feeling strongly unhappy, with my life. All that madness was caused by dissatisfaction. At that night I had strongest desire ever to bang my head somewhere and lie unconscious for hours and wake up again, when my universe is in peace again  and my mind will feel ok.

                 NOTHING in my life was going well “nothing”. The most frustrating thought was “students like me don’t get the college like IIT. That realization was making me numb, and obviously it was my fault. Over all I was frustrated beyond the limits. After a little time of talking and cursing my life I found my self in the sight of the white beauty of the temple. The white sculpture made with beaut of stone and skills. Everyone there was so busy with their friends and relatives. I roamed  from first corner to last in search of peace. I didn’t get any thing I was looking for.


Generally I notice saddest things  and people, in my path. The crying cow, wounded dog, dying tree. But today the  world looked happy, only I was not. The chirping crowd was even more irritating. I walked in the dark corners of the ground. Which looked green and dead and full of trees. I walked until I had no energy left. My mind was finding it hard to muster even a single idea thought. I was fully exhausted. I like to push the limits, no matter how many times I’m pushed back.

I walked  back to my room. Tired  to the core,  I covered half of the path at a snail’s pace because of my tired soul and body. Walking for more than four kilometers wasn’t a good very good idea I guess.

I jumped on the bed and drew  a deep and warm breath on the name holy temple. My eyes were watery because of tiredness, I was slowly loosing my self to a desired situation ‘snoozing’ and I felt so relaxed, at that point in time, in my bed.  It was like sleep is singing lullabies and fan’s air was like caressing my hair. I smelt a little sober whiff of a smile around my lips. 

Then I realized, that was the feeling for what I was running all around the globe, I went for a walk in search of ‘peace of my mind. The very thing I was experiencing on the bed was beautiful as I had no stress left or I had no energy to understand if it is stress or something else entirely.  I was tired so just drown in sleepy slumber felt 
extraordinary, unexplainable. I can sense how time was coalescing most peaceful thoughts in my mind.

             I had a single room, so there was pin drop silence. Even I could hear my heartbeat. It  was simply joyous to be there and just try to sleep, it was so very peaceful. Then I smiled and slapped my forehead. That was the feeling, I was scouring the earth for.  A drop of tear rolled down from my eyes, and I smiled again how foolish I am.


Peace and satisfaction is not something to find ‘it is a beauty that lies within’. 

It was always there in my room and I was roaming here and their in search of it.  You just need to stay calm and let it in, if you can control this, the world will be easier to conquer.  It will always exist with in, same as oceans exist in the our world, we can use its tides and water to make our life easier. Similarly, you can use this hidden treasure, the peace of your mind, to make your life better.


Seeking shelter in abode of a force you do not understand and expect it to aid you In your pursuits is just one of the ways to find that perpetual joy.
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Sunday, August 11, 2013

Hasrat: ek kumjalf khwhaish

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Ab chhod ker na jau sheher tera
Aisa yha ab rakkha kya hai
Dil ki deewaro me ab talak
 jal rha hai kuchh
Tujhe  khyalo ki terah inme
jo mne chun rakha hai

yade teri mere paimano me bhari rehti hai
ishq krne ki isase munasib sza kya hai
meri ishq koi najook andhiyara nhi hai
jo bikher jayega subeh hone per
tujhe najer aayega mera pyar
kabhi teri basti se ujalo ke rakh hone per

tu junoo aur ishq hai mera
mere dil  ki nadani siwa
iski wajah kya hai
ab na jau chhod ker sheher tera
aisa yha rakha kya hai

meri khwabo ki hr angdai me rehti hai tu
fer is doorie ki wajah kya hai
jo koi mehkash najer aaye
to puchh lena mera pta
koi aag theher jayegi
 mere dil ka pta btane ko
ab aino me gujti vehsat  suni kyo hai
ab koi jha nhi chahiye theher jane ko
ab bas beeti bate dikhti ankho me meri her paimano ko
ab bas hasrato ne hath me ek aina de rkha hai
jisme tumhe hasta dekh mere hont muskurate hai
ab tere sheher me theher jane ko aur rakha  kya hai

mai jo bhagte huwe chhod jaunga sheher tera
kuchh njare mujhe dhundhte reh jayenge
mujhe shak hai, wo mujhe
 meri kavitao me dhundh payenge
hai koi hissa jindagi ka
jha ye dil yade beshoomar rakhta hai
koi shayer kisi mehkade me ho
 jo mera intejar rkhata hai
ab na chhod ker jau sheher tera
aisa yha  ab ralkha kya hai

aunga fer kabi ohdo ke liwaj me
prem nager aur  tere sheher ki baki galiyo me
wo rahe fer se raud jane ko
wo beeti yade, wo beete lamhe
ruh ko fir se dikhane ko

ab bhi aina-e-khak ki koi
tasveer roshan hai dil me
tujhe khwabo me yu dhundhte
chale aane ki wajah kya hai

mujhe yu sochna gwara na tha
tere sheher se jane ko
kuchh mehkush paimane
utha laye mujhe un deewaro se
ab yu hi theher jane ki wajah kya hai
koi puchhe aaker is dil se
bin tere jina kya hai
teri yado me her pal mrna kya hai

koi aaker puchhe is dil se
teri yado me takiye ko pakad rona kya hai
kisi aur ki sehrao me dekhker tujhe
her pal jalna kya hai, marna kya hai
koi aaker puchhe mere dil se
her pal khyalo ka chubhna kya hai
teri yado me ankhe bher ke
ye sba likhna kya hai
ek arshe bad tujhe soch ker
ishq ki tapish me jal jane ki wajah kya hai

 Ab chhod ker na jau sheher tera
Aisa yha ab rakkha kya hai
Dil ki deewaro me ab talak
 jal rha hai kuchh
Tujhe  khyalo ki terah inme
jo mne chun rakha hai


,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,roshANks”
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