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Monday, August 12, 2013

A beauty of with in

It was 7:00 pm, a moist evening was visible, spread and canopied over whole of world I can see from ma window.  I was rolling side by side on my bed, and facing a very frustration full time. So I decided to eradicate this nasty part of feeling’s from ma mind and hitched ma self with a walk in search of peace on a long road which goes to JK TEMPLE. That is famous temple of Kanpur, I was running out of  the state of harmony of my mind  and I desperately needed that and in such circumstances any one prefer to  get spiritual.I had a PG in kakadeo (Kanpur), in last few days I realized having a walk to neer-chher chauraha wasn’t peaceful. I needed some peace for ma ‘mind bedeviled by few nasty conceptions of life’.
On the way to JK temple which was almost two kilometers for from there, I did so many awkward things, I started running don’t know why just It was helping me to stay away from other tormenting thoughts, I took a sudden stop and stayed there like statue for few seconds, because ma thought were trapping ma legs any of it wasn’t intentional it was just happening because I wasn’t feeling satisfied with ma life. All that madness was caused by dissatisfaction. At that night I had strongest desire ever to bang ma head somewhere and lie unconscious for hours and wake after my mind will feel ok.
                 NOTHING in my life was going well “nothing”. The most frustrating thought was “students like me don’t get the college like IIT. That realization was making me numb, and obviously it all was my fault. Over all I was frustrated beyond the limits. After a little time of talking and cursing my life I found ma self in the sight of the white beauty of the temple. The white sculpture made with famous beaut of soil and skills. Everyone there was so busy with their friends and relatives. I roamed a lot from first corner to last in search of peace I didn’t got an thing like that their The crowd chirp was even more irritating. i came back to ma room in tired most situation half of the way I traveled on snails paces because of ma tired soul and body. Walking for four kilometers wasn’t that good idea I guess.
I jumped on the bed and took a deep cold breath on the name holy gospel. Ma eyes were watery cause of tiredness, I was slowly loosing ma self to a desired situation ‘snoozing’. I felt so relax their on bed it was like snooze is singing lullabies and fan’s air was like caressing ma hair. I smelt a little sober whiff of smile around ma lips Then I realized, that was feeling for what I was running all the way, I went for a walk just for that feeling ‘peace’. The thing I was feeling at then was extraordinary, unexplainable I can sense how time was coalescing the variegated peace in ma conscience,
             I had single room, so there was pin drop silence situation, even I could hear ma heartbeat. Then I smiled and slapped ma forehead that was feeling for what I was roaming everywhere ‘peace of mind’.  A drop of tear fell out from ma eyes, and I smiled again how foolish I am. Peace and satisfaction is not thing to find ‘it is a beauty lies within’. It was always here in my room and I was roaming here and their in search of itJ  You just need to stay calm and feel it, if you can control this you can achieve anything. When you will understand the Mediocrity of complex most problems you will learn how to handle these frustrating circumstances happy. Spirituality is just one of the way to find that perpetual joy.